She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
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I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
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After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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