It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
