I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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