I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize