We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Randomize
