youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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