lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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