i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
