i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
