We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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