I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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