Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
