"it" just moved
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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