the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
