Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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