How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
