no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
