A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
we're making bets on your personal life
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
