They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
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My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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