You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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