So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize