dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
