problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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