Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Sext me about skeletons
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
