I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
