How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
don't judge my taste in strippers
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize