She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
