dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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