who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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