I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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