you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
