you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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