You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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