what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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