i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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