The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
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