Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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