so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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