That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Randomize
