love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
