I accidentally burped into my bong.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize