...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
