Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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