More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
