if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
