I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
