Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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