you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize