I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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