i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
