I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
