Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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