Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize