Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand. http://tfl.nu/h0pi
  Replies (27) Good night (1001) Bad night (6031)
• Favorite

  (779): View more from Illinois

  Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (779): Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me. http://tfl.nu/6ngm
  Replies (6) Good night (2916) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"

  (305): View more from Florida

  does that mean he doesn't last long?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon" (305): does that mean he doesn't last long? http://tfl.nu/k8bo
  Replies (10) Good night (878) Bad night (3708)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy.. http://tfl.nu/5gkh
  Replies (49) Good night (694) Bad night (5718)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  tonight lets celebrate not being married

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): tonight lets celebrate not being married http://tfl.nu/u5lc
  Replies (19) Good night (6964) Bad night (876)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night. http://tfl.nu/r58q
  Replies (12) Good night (9031) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there. http://tfl.nu/8qlt
  Replies (8) Good night (3170) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.

  (1-337): View more from Louisiana

  so you admit it was good then??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600. (1-337): so you admit it was good then?? http://tfl.nu/xl9i
  Replies (27) Good night (8761) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season. http://tfl.nu/yv9x
  Replies (9) Good night (2511) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (915): I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something. http://tfl.nu/u0v6
  Replies (5) Good night (3157) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (308): He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along. http://tfl.nu/kb7d
  Replies (13) Good night (3230) Bad night (1219)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it. http://tfl.nu/jy69
  Replies (21) Good night (2246) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt? http://tfl.nu/w4he
  Replies (15) Good night (3309) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style. http://tfl.nu/0udf
  Replies (6) Good night (2143) Bad night (1098)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  You can't spell "party" without "RA."

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): You can't spell "party" without "RA." (1-970): You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired." http://tfl.nu/jawl
  Replies (4) Good night (890) Bad night (452)

Randomize