Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Is it because I queefed?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
