I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
