The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
