That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
