Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
